These are the offical rules of the noble game of punch buggy. They were agreed by the International Punch Buggy Federation based in Tacoma, WA.
A punch bug or buggy is a Volkswagen Beetle. This includes:
The game never ends. It is played while driving in a car, sitting in a coffee shop or walking down the street. If you let your guard down you lose. When you sight a punch buggy, you may punch an opponent who is within five feet of you.
Once a buggy is sighted you should punch your opponent. The ideal punch is with a closed fist. Some rotate their arm outward to issue a punch, though we at the committee find that inelegant, preffering a more traditional punch.
The point of the punch itself is not to physically disable your opponent. Rather, it is to give them a subtle reminder, slightly throbbing, that they have been bested by a greater player of the noble game of punch buggy.
If you don't say "no punch backs" within two seconds on punching your opponent, they may punch you in reciprocation. Note that this can lead to an endless stream of punches.
In more vicious matches, some have been known to punch their opponent in the vocal cords, thereby disabling their "no punch back" ability and ensuring victory in the game. Though, this strategy is generally frowned upon as unsporting behaviour.
When a buggy is sighted and a punch is issued, a ten minute timer begins. If the buggy is visible after those 10 minutes have elapsed, you may once again punch your opponent. Note that owners of buggies are advised to punch their passengers once every ten minutes.
Each punch counts as one point. If you punch an opponent on sighting a car that was not, in fact, a punch bug then your score is decremented by three points. You should also feel a deep and abiding sense of shame on delivering an incorrect punch.
The score resets at midnight local time every day. The person with the highest score should feel comfort that they are a clever, quick and resourceful person. The people who lost should be left with a lingering self doubt as to whether they will ever really cut it in life, knowing that they're bad at finding bugs. This is, after all, a serious business and a proxy for the struggle for domination that is life itself.
