Facing the same people every day, facing the same things every day, and dealing with the same work every day, do you feel a little tired and lazy in your heart? Ordinary life does not have many waves, and the rest in life is repetition and repetition. Day after day, month after month, year after year, maybe you are bored with life and feel unmotivated at work. We all need some motivation, from the inside and from the outside. Only by adjusting our emotions can we better integrate into life. and at work.
The Admin5 forum’s chat event on Thursday, November 4th will invite psychology teacher Mr. Ma Ning to teach us how to effectively manage our emotions and face our inner needs and voices. This edited version talks about some key points, welcome to discuss.
Question: I have been working for more than a year. When I make achievements at work, I am very happy and become more passionate about my work. However, my work status is more dull and my work results are more balanced. As time goes by, , less passion, less motivation to work. There are fewer and fewer high emotions at work. Teacher Ma Ning has been working for many years. I would like to ask how to maintain a good and positive working state for a long time?
Answer: A person's sense of accomplishment comes more from his own evaluation. If the work we do is to better gain recognition from the outside world, we will also get a certain sense of accomplishment. However, it will change as the external judgment standards change!
Especially in the early stage of work, it is easier to achieve results and receive more external praise, so you will naturally have a greater sense of accomplishment; but in the later stages, the range of improvement in performance will become smaller, so the chance of receiving external recognition will decrease, and the sense of accomplishment will decrease. will weaken. Therefore, you must learn to put a steelyard in your own heart. Here you have your own direction, your own ideas, and your own views on your own approach. When you have a firm understanding of yourself, you will not completely rely on what the outside world says. . When others say I'm good, I'm happy; when others say I'm bad, I don't mind.
There is another possible reason. Maybe we feel that all the external attention is on my achievements, but I do not get good attention. This actually shows that there is another part of me outside of work that needs attention! Therefore, boredom at work is often not true boredom at work, but an emotion transferred from neglecting other needs. Therefore, you need to ask yourself, what kind of things can you do to make yourself happier? Who in life do you think has ignored yourself? Which part of yourself has been ignored? What can I do about it?
When your emotions are relatively strong, this is a very good time to understand your inner self's needs. Ask yourself why you feel uncomfortable and what can be done to alleviate this discomfort? Then use appropriate expressions to let people around you understand. Try this first. It may be a little difficult at first. Once you get started, you will find that you will see yourself and others more clearly.
Question: Hello guest, when making a website, we always get up early and go to bed late. We have to stare at the website all day long, keep an eye on the traffic, users, and analyze the prospects of the website. The most important thing is the direction of the policy, which always puts people in a different position. This is a very stressful working state. Is there any way to alleviate this state at work, or is there any adjustment method?
Answer: Hello, high-intensity work is very good for training people's mental strength. However, if it is excessively high-intensity, it may make people feel too stressed. It's like a rubber band. If you stretch it to the limit and then relax it, the elasticity will increase when you pull it up again. But if you stretch it for a long time and don't let it go, you may find that its elasticity fails when you let it go.
So your question is very good, that is how to relax appropriately during the lifting process. There are some very simple practices, but many people are unwilling to do them because they think they are too simple, but they are actually very necessary: such as looking out the window, looking at the vast sky, feeling the connection between yourself and the sky, slowly Slowly imagine merging yourself into the sky, becoming one with the sky, and you will feel more relaxed when you come back; for example, you can review the photos with your girlfriend and imagine some beautiful and sentimental times. Many experiments have proved that when people When the heart is full of love, the state is relatively relaxed, so if you have a phone call with your girlfriend in the middle and have some sweet conversations, it can also be a reliever for the tension; you can also find two songs you like, if If the venue is suitable, it is also good to sing two songs with loud voice, which can release the accumulated emotions squeezed in the body; you can also go out for a spin or do some simple yoga movements to feel the air outside the computer and your own body. The body and so on are also a kind of relaxation.
These methods are based on different outfits, so you can choose the method that suits you at the moment. Use your creativity. As long as life has color, it will be a good way to reduce stress! Come on!
Question: Mr. Ma Ning, I just graduated and can’t find my place in society or in the company. Although the salary is low, my requirements are not high. I just need to make a living, but it’s the same job every day, including company meetings. Core employees, I feel bad at this time, what should I do? I started changing jobs frequently, but now my salary is enough for basic living expenses, and it seems impossible to change jobs again. I want to develop in Shenzhen and Beijing, but I can't make the trip. I'm in Wuhan now! The network is not good? Thank you, teacher.
Answer: The question we need to face is, have we transformed our talents into real-life value? The enterprise is not a comprehensive stage to display talents. It can only allow a certain part of our talents to be displayed, and other talents are temporarily What is not needed, we need to help ourselves find a stage to show it!
From a business point of view, whether you are a Maxima or not, it is true that you can pull it off! If we believe in our talents enough, we can find the needs of the enterprise, and then do some beautiful work according to their needs to let them How about coming to know yourself? In this fast-paced world, Bole is often very busy and needs to recommend himself to cheer you on!
At the same time, I personally feel that you also need to set a goal for yourself. Without a goal, you may not have a sense of accomplishment at work because you always feel like you are working for others! Ask yourself, what kind of person do you want to be in ten years? People? Then don’t be too anxious and divide the goal into stages: In order to achieve this goal, what kind of person do you want to be in five years? To achieve this goal, what conditions must be met within one year? To achieve this condition, what can be done now? Then, Start, GO, work hard for your dreams! Bless you!
Question: Hello, Teacher Ma! Let me tell you my question. I currently live a comfortable life and have no worries about food and drink. However, due to some reasons, there are no bigger and better development opportunities in career and love. Based on rational judgment, I will only have enough food and clothing in my life, and other aspects will be very bleak.
At present, I just live every day mechanically, passing the time by reading novels, watching sports games, etc., and occasionally miss the people I like. I feel that there is really no point in living like this day after day in the long run. Although I have no thoughts of committing suicide at the moment, I still know mentally that I need to take good care of my parents. But I feel that my life is very boring and I have no joy in living. Can you tell me whether I have any mental illness? Sub-health is definitely a problem. Make you laugh!
Answer: Dear friend:
Your question will not be laughed at at all, because many people will ask this question at a certain point. Congratulations, because you are about to "upgrade" on the road of life!
When we were children, we learned many things in order to express ourselves and gain recognition and praise from others; at a certain point, if we just want recognition and love, we will always feel hungry in our hearts. At this time, it means that we In fact, you are not hungry, but you are too full, and you need to transform. Learn to transform what you have acquired into the power to support and love others. In this way, the law of conservation of energy is achieved, and a life with gains and contributions is complete. of!
Think about how you can make the people around you happy! Being able to take good care of yourself shows that you are a capable person. I hope your abilities can benefit more people around you and at the same time bring you a greater sense of value. !
Question: Teacher, I go to and from get off work every day and have almost nothing else to do. I am also a network worker. I also want to develop an interest and then study it carefully, so that my life will be more colorful. However, every time I wanted to do something, I didn't persist. Laziness and perseverance were on the one hand; at the same time, I also felt that I had no potential and was not confident in my abilities. Every time I gave up halfway, I was also very negative about my abilities. On the one hand, when you are a freshman, you will feel that your efforts are not getting results, so you give up.
In life and work, I am not confident in myself in some aspects. For example, I am not good at communicating with my colleagues. I also hope to get along well with my colleagues, but my heart always tells me that I am not good at communicating. He was sociable and gradually alienated from his colleagues. I would like to ask the teacher, how should I cultivate my self-confidence?
Answer: To cultivate self-confidence, the important thing is not to label yourself easily and say "I am not good". When you have this hint in your heart, all your efforts will be in vain, because you will actively absorb information to prove your point of view.
But fortunately, you have discovered this negative self-hypnosis word of yours. Now maybe you can try to say to her when you see the sad and frustrated ego:
"I accept you as you are! I know you have been trying hard. No matter what the result is now, you have made the best choice based on the past; now you are no longer alone, no matter whether others understand or not You, no matter whether others can really see your advantages, I understand you, support you, and will always be with you to explore a better way."
You should keep saying this, and then help yourself sum up your experience and improve little by little! No one is born perfect. The most valuable thing about a person is that he still has a willingness to learn when he sees his own shortcomings! The most valuable thing in life is The important thing is that you accept yourself and love yourself. No matter who gives up on you, you can never give up. Keep believing! Make little progress! Bless you!
Question: Teacher, self-confidence and low self-esteem are two sides of the same coin. Too much self-confidence means low self-esteem, right? I feel like I have low self-esteem. For example, I am too fat and I don’t want to play with thin friends. , because they are taboo about being fat. I also know that this is not good, but subconsciously, I still reject those friends, which has a negative impact on my work and life.
I would like to ask the teacher, what should I do to overcome such an inferiority complex? The book says that to overcome inferiority complex, one must face up to the problem, but even if I face up to the reality, I have always been taboo about this issue. What should I do? Ask the teacher for guidance.
Answer: With a truly confident person, you will feel his strength when you are with him, but you will not feel oppressed! True confidence means believing in yourself and others!
Therefore, the best way is to go all out to show the most exciting part when you are on your own stage; when others are on the stage, give full support and applause! Anyone’s difference cannot be used to say Who is good and who is bad? There is no absolute good or bad. When used in the right place, they are all good! Because of "you", there is "we", and only different people can have teams and families. Only then will there be a dynamic world.
Answer: "When it comes to your own stage, go all out to show the most exciting part; when others come to the stage, give your full support and cheers." Thank you teacher, because I didn't recognize my own stage and that of others. I always get confused about where I am. From now on, on my own stage, I will try my best to perform my best; on other people's stage, I will try my best to be an enthusiastic and cheering audience.
Question: Everyone says that their "website" is their "girlfriend". I encountered this problem in most webmaster forums: most webmasters, it can be said that most of them, due to their own personal reasons, are " The profession of "webmaster" involves long-term contact with computers, which makes it a bit "homey". They are all grassroots webmasters, all in their 20s, without girlfriends, or for this reason the "webmaster" does not have a good relationship with his girlfriend, etc. How do we deal with such problems?
Answer: That’s a good question, but everyone’s situation is different. If you feel you don’t need a girlfriend, it’s fine, then you don’t need to do anything deliberately! If you feel you need a girlfriend, then you have to ask yourself about your girlfriend What more can be done? What does your girlfriend need? See what the exact contradictions are, and then you can talk about the specific issues in detail!
In fact, I want to say something to all the men who are webmasters. Having a loving relationship and living with someone is a good way to reduce stress. Spending time with your girlfriend will also give you confidence when you face your career again. More motivation and passion!
Question: Teacher Ma, what do you think happiness is? One hundred audiences, one hundred Hamlets; one hundred people, there are one hundred definitions of happiness. Teacher Ma, what does happiness look like in your eyes?
Answer: No matter what people need in the world, whether it is money, love, health, or anything else, there are only two ultimate needs: to be recognized and to be noticed. So happiness is two things: accomplishing the meaningful things you want to do with the greatest value, and being with the person you love!
Teacher Ma Ning told us about many aspects of self-confidence, passion, happiness, and self-needs. We often feel depressed, depressed, and unsatisfied, perhaps because being needed and paying attention is not enough. We should face our inner needs, listen to our own voices, and be a cheerful person. If you have anything else you want to communicate with Teacher Ma, you can go to her blog blog.sina.com.cn/maningxinling to interact, or you can read in Teacher Ma’s new books "Quit the Hurt in Love" and "Establish Rules in Love" Find answers to your questions. I hope the above collection of forum chat questions can inspire you. Please also continue to pay attention to the forum chat activities organized by the A5 forum every Thursday afternoon. (Text/Compiled by Mengjiang)
For more discussions on psychological topics, you can also check out the chat thread. Post address: http://bbs.admin5.com/thread-2119393-1-1.html